


let me stay up with you all night

by bubblylikesparklingcider



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Polyamory, Suicidal Ideation, TW: Suicide, polyamorous v, suicidal character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblylikesparklingcider/pseuds/bubblylikesparklingcider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which a victim's older sister attempted suicide and it hits too close to home for one james aubrey. booth tries to help him and discovers something about himself along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let me stay up with you all night

**Author's Note:**

> I joined the Bones fandom. Yup. I'm in another fandom. But guys. GUYS. The characters are so damaged! And I love a good damaged character. I feel like not enough is done with Aubrey and I also ship Aubrey and Booth because I am shameless shipper trash. 
> 
> This is pretty AU, but it's also being done for suicide awareness. I feel like it's important that we have more suicidal characters.
> 
> Also, the Bones episode "The Lost In the Found" saved my life, but that's a story for another time.

They’re investigating the murder of a young girl named Lily Hooper when it happens.

 

Booth takes Aubrey to question the girl’s older sister, living in an apartment by herself. The girls hadn’t spoken in years, were apparently always fighting, until Lily called her sister two days before she was murdered and the two got into another fight.

 

They bang on the girl’s door, but she won’t answer.

 

“Miss Hooper, this is the FBI. Open the door!” Booth calls.

 

“Should we just break it down?” Aubrey asks. Booth shakes his head.

 

“Wait.” He responds. “Miss Hooper, if you don’t open this door, I’ll have to break it down.”

 

No response. It makes Booth wonder if she’s even home.

 

“I can hear music.” Aubrey says.

 

“Miss Hooper, I’m going to count to three.” Booth warns. “1...2...3!”

 

Booth kicks the door down. Aubrey’s right- soft music is floating around the room.

 

“In Noctem.” Aubrey says and Booth looks back at him, raising an eyebrow. “From Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!”

 

“Really, man? Really?” Booth looks around. “Bathroom door’s closed.”

 

“Oh, great.” Aubrey says. “Do we knock?”

 

Booth doesn’t answer, instead motioning to a bloody knife on the floor and kicking the door down.

 

Emma Hooper lies in the bathtub, skin pale and arms bloody. Booth slides his gun back into its holster and drops down beside her, feeling for a pulse. Aubrey stands in the doorway, looking stricken.

 

“Call 911!” Booth urges. It takes Aubrey a moment to snap into action, but after a few seconds, he pulls out his phone and makes the call.

 

Booth just hopes that Emma can stay alive long enough.

 

/----/----/----/

 

Aubrey finds a suicide note pinned to the mirror, apologizing to Lily for leaving her alone in the world. The two men drive to the hospital together in silence.

 

“It’s almost like she didn’t know that Lily’s dead.” Aubrey says softly. He’s been acting strange ever since Booth broke down the door and he caught sight of Emma.

 

“It’s a shame.” Booth shakes his head. “It really is. That these kids feel so miserable that they take their own lives. That people in general feel so miserable that they take their own lives. Something needs to be done.”

 

“Yeah.” Aubrey says quietly. 

 

“I mean, look at this girl! Cut her arms up and swallowed a pack of Tylenol. If somebody had been there….” Booth trails off, looking over at Aubrey. Tears are resting in his eyes. “You okay, man?”

 

“Yeah.” Aubrey straightens up. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just...upsetting.”

 

“Yeah.” Booth agrees, but something’s off. “Yeah.”

 

/----/----/----/

 

Emma immediately goes into surgery to get her arms stitched and her stomach pumped. Booth asks the hospital to call them when she’s awake.

 

“I mean, Tylenol and cutting?” Aubrey asks when they’re in the car. “It’s not the easiest way to go. It’s long and painful and has a higher survival rate.”

 

“...what?” Booth asks, feeling a jolt of fear that he can’t quite explain.

 

“All I’m saying is that it’s not the best way to go. It’s not clean and I would hate for anyone to find me like that and have to clean up the mess.” Aubrey continues. Booth’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. 

 

“What’s the best way to go then, Mr. Morbid?” Booth asks, chuckling nervously.

 

“I’d say a bullet to the head, but that’s also pretty messy. Gassing yourself to death is okay, but jumping off a high bridge can do the trick.” Aubrey says. Booth bites his lip. 

 

“You okay, man?” He asks again. Aubrey looks over at him, seeming startled.

 

“Oh, yeah! I’m fine.” He says. 

 

Booth wants to reach out to him but he can’t.

 

“Hey, let’s go to the Royal Diner for lunch.” He says. It’s the end of the conversation, but it’s not the end of the worry spreading in Booth’s chest.

 

/----/----/----/

 

“You should’ve heard him, Bones.” Booth tells his wife. Bones tilts her head to this side, watching Booth with a sorrowful expression.

 

“Do you think he’s okay?” Bones asks. Booth rubs his face with his hands.

 

“He seems okay.” He says. “I don’t….”

 

He trails off, sitting back in his chair. He doesn’t want to think about it. 

 

“You don’t think he’s suicidal.” Bones says bluntly. “I agree.”

 

“You...do?” Booth asks.

 

“Perhaps in the past he was.” Bones explains. “But he shows no signs of wishing to take his own life now.”

 

Booth nods and stares at the wall of Bones’ office. She reaches across her desk and takes his hand in hers. 

 

“You think that what’s happening with this Emma girl is just reminding him of something?” He asks. Bones nods.

 

“He seemed very upset when he learned that Molly Delson killed herself. Just keep an eye on him.” Bones says. “Sweets would say that if Aubrey was suicidal at any point, this incident is reminding him of something he’d prefer to forget.”

 

“Do you agree with that?” Booth asks.

 

“Yes.” Bones responds simply. “I do.”

 

/----/----/----/

 

The hospital calls the next day and Booth and Aubrey go in to question Emma. Booth wants to talk to Aubrey, say something to the younger man, ask him what’s going on, but he can’t. It’s too awkward and strange and it seems so very...un-Aubrey. Booth doesn’t understand how Aubrey can be anything other than an adorable little foodie with sparkling eyes and an excitement for life and the things around him.

 

It’s strange.

 

Booth tries to shake the thought off. 

 

“Emma was pretty active on social media.” Aubrey says from the passenger’s seat, where he’s on his phone. “She had Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr...you should see some of the things she’d post.”

 

“Like what?” Booth asks. Aubrey looks up.

 

“She was miserable. Constantly talked about how her family put her down, how they didn’t care about her. It looks like a lot of people on Tumblr tried reaching out to her, but I guess it didn’t work.” Aubrey says.

 

“Does she mention anything about Lily?” Booth asks, trying to remind himself of who they’re really supposed to be thinking about here.

 

“She actually does. She says in one post, ‘My sister Lily and I fight a lot, but I love her so much. I hate to think of her stuck in that house with our parents. I don’t want her to end up like me: a total screw-up. I know my parents can never love me, but I wish they would show some affection for Lily. I don’t speak to her anymore because my parents don’t like it when I do and I feel like they’ll punish Lily for it. I can’t kill myself because I need to be there for Lily, but the pain I feel is so strong that I think it might kill me anyway.’” Aubrey finishes, looking up at Booth again. Booth shakes his head.

 

“Do you think her parents might have something to do with it?” Aubrey asks.

 

“I don’t know.” Booth says slowly. “What kind of parent kills their child?”

 

“What kind of parent makes their kid feel so bad that they kill themselves?” Aubrey counters and they’re both silent after that.

 

/----/----/----/

 

Emma’s awake when they get there, looking like death. There are dark circles around her eyes, her skin still pale. The doctor requests that they don’t stay long.

 

“Emma, I’m Special Agent Booth with the FBI, this is Agent Aubrey. We’d like to ask you a few questions.” Booth says, showing her his badge. 

 

“You were the ones who found me?” Emma asks, her voice weak. Booth nods. She closes her eyes.

 

“I...I didn’t mean for anyone to find me.” She says. Booth tightens his hand into a fist, sorrow needling at his heart. “I know I should...thank you. But...I….I’m sorry.”

 

“There’s no need to be sorry, Emma.” Aubrey says gently. Emma opens her eyes and looks directly at him.

 

“You said you needed to ask me some questions.” She reminds them. Booth nods.

 

“It’s about your sister.” He says softly. A look of horror contorts Emma’s face.

 

“Oh my god. Is she okay?” She asks, immediately trying to sit up from the half-sitting position her bed has been put in. Aubrey and Booth reach out at the same time.

 

“No no no, don’t sit up!” Aubrey says. She slumps against the pillows, defeated.

 

“She’s dead.” She says quietly and starts to cry. “She’s dead, isn’t she?”

 

“I’m sorry.” Booth says and takes her hand in his. Bandages are wrapped from her wrist to her elbow, he notices. 

 

“Do you know who did it?” She asks. Booth shakes his head. “Will you find them?”

 

“Of course.” Aubrey says. Booth nods.

 

“Where were you two nights ago?” Booth asks. Emma scrunches up her face.

 

“Um...I think...two nights ago. That was Monday, right?” She asks.

 

“Yes.” Aubrey responds. “Can you remember what you were doing?”

 

“I was at the campus coffee shop.” She says with more certainty. “I always go there on Monday nights.”

 

“What time were you there?” Booth asks. Emma closes her eyes again.

 

“7:30...to….closing. I always stay to closing.” She says. “I have a friend who works there.”

 

She opens her eyes and looks at Booth. “Do you really think I killed my own sister?”

 

A nurse rushes in, stopping Booth from answering to shoo them out. As they reach the door, Emma stops them.

 

“Agent Booth.” She says, looking small and weak and hurt in that big bed. “I don’t blame you for suspecting me. I’ve fought with Lil a lot. But I love her. She’s a great girl and I love her. And I’m glad you’re being so thorough.”

 

Booth thanks her before the nurse shuts the door on them.

/----/----/----/

 

"It's kinda strange that she couldn't remember what two nights ago was or where she was." Booth says as they get back in the SUV.

 

"Well, you know, memory loss is a symptom of depression." Aubrey says.

 

"It is?" Booth asks.

 

"Yeah." Aubrey looks up at him. "It is."

 

Booth tries not to think about how Aubrey could know that.

 

He fails.

**Author's Note:**

> As an end note, I'm not sure about anyone else, but I know that for me I tend to forget what day it is and I can't remember what I was doing a few days before without thinking hard.


End file.
